22 7 / 2012
i basically have the mentality of a puppy when i’m talking to someone on the internet
like if they don’t respond quickly i assume they hate me and are gone forever and we’re never gonna talk again
but then they respond and it’s like i come running in HI HI HOW WAS YOUR DAY I THOUGHT YOU WERE NEVER COMING BACK I LOVE YOU
21 7 / 2012
I say that I’m friends with all my ex-girlfriends.
That’s basically the truth, but there’s a thick vein of bullshit in all that. Let me explain with an example. So, the other day I went to an event in which an ex of mine was one of the performers. After the conclusion of said event we all stood outside talking, smoking and generally enjoying the breeze coming in off the lake and curling its way through southern Chicago. We talked about this and that- friendly and comfortable. But the entire time I’m thinking “Damn. We used to date the shit out of each other and even though we’re totally cool and not reminiscing I can’t help but think on it because I REMEMBER EVERYTHING. I remember your awful cat. I remember all the books on your bookshelves. I remember making you laugh so hard you cried. I remember you having nightmares. I remember how you fit perfectly against me when we slept and how cold your hands always were. I remember you telling me secrets. I remember your family. I remember our relationship moving from a happy Belle and Sebastian song to a depressing The Elected song to a John Cage recording of cats fighting in an alleyway. The point is, I remember we were very much in love and now we’re talking about good Korean eateries like two schmucks who’ve met a couple times at a book club? What the cock is that shit?”
It’s not a big deal and I’ll be goddamned if I know what a better alternative is, but it’s strange. The fact is is that we’re still friends, but like “help you move-same yoga class” friends. Everything worth saying was said late at night in the stillness of her bedroom and now all that’s left is pleasantries and shared jokes. Friendliness, but no intimacy.
But I can’t help but remember that shared history when we make eye contact when talking about the ecological implications of wind-farming.
Not bad. Just weird."
21 7 / 2012
"The day after Columbine, I was interviewed for the Tom Brokaw news program. The reporter had been assigned a theory and was seeking sound bites to support it. “Wouldn’t you say,” she asked, “that killings like this are influenced by violent movies?” No, I said, I wouldn’t say that. “But what about Basketball Diaries?” she asked. “Doesn’t that have a scene of a boy walking into a school with a machine gun?” The obscure 1995 Leonardo Di Caprio movie did indeed have a brief fantasy scene of that nature, I said, but the movie failed at the box office (it grossed only $2.5 million), and it’s unlikely the Columbine killers saw it. The reporter looked disappointed, so I offered her my theory. “Events like this,” I said, “if they are influenced by anything, are influenced by news programs like your own. When an unbalanced kid walks into a school and starts shooting, it becomes a major media event. Cable news drops ordinary programming and goes around the clock with it. The story is assigned a logo and a theme song; these two kids were packaged as the Trench Coat Mafia. The message is clear to other disturbed kids around the country: If I shoot up my school, I can be famous. The TV will talk about nothing else but me. Experts will try to figure out what I was thinking. The kids and teachers at school will see they shouldn’t have messed with me. I’ll go out in a blaze of glory.”
In short, I said, events like Columbine are influenced far less by violent movies than by CNN, the NBC Nightly News and all the other news media, who glorify the killers in the guise of “explaining” them. I commended the policy at the Sun-Times, where our editor said the paper would no longer feature school killings on Page 1. The reporter thanked me and turned off the camera. Of course the interview was never used. They found plenty of talking heads to condemn violent movies, and everybody was happy."
01 7 / 2012
01 7 / 2012